I seem to always be a bit late with things. I am notoriously late… to wake up, to get out the door, to meet friends, to make it to hair appointments, to fall asleep, to do just about everything except dinner reservations and work obligations, both of which I make an especially considerable effort to respect. I have developed certain strategies for dealing with this. If everyone has some innate talent or ‘super power’, mine (other having a palate more advanced than the average restaurant industry civilian and a tremendously suppressed gag reflex) is always knowing the fastest route to get somewhere. Along with a naturally good sense of direction, I factor in a variety of data… considering such things as time of day, accident reports, the pattern of light changes on a particular stretch of street and more, then run out the door with minutes to spare, cursing, flailingand flustered. This pattern did not allow me to arrive at my destination the personification of sexy, calm, pulled-together collectedness, so I knew something had to give.
I had never really been the kind of gal to make a resolution to do something….I always figured if I wanted to do it, I damn sure would and if I didn’t get to it, well then I just didn’t want to or it must not have been that critical. Last year I made my first resolution in a decade (since 2002 when I earnestly committed my energies to becoming a fabulous cocksucker); I decided I would try to stop being perpetually tardy AND cease driving like Cruella DeVille to make up for the time, but I knew I needed something to motivate me to succeed. After thinking about how to go about this, I bought an early 60’s dodge dart convertible, a sleek, shiny black with teal interior, a considerably gorgeous automobile that I look pretty darn sex-tastic in if I do say so myself. This aesthetically pleasing car takes at least ten minutes to warm up, handles much less responsively than a modern vehicle and has a maximum MPH of about seventy (though the speedometer shows at about twenty faster than its reality which allows me a happy state of suspended disbelief that I am going fast when I am actually driving at a perfectly reasonable, legal speed….not unlike when I put something in my calendar as starting a half hour earlier so I will undoubtedly show up thinking I am a twenty minutes late only to be delighted that I am ten minutes ahead of things). The point of telling you this is that I have decided to make a new resolution this year (though in the spirit of my tricks for success, its a Chinese NewYear promise, which starts after the strike of midnight into February 1st since I dropped the ball on the beginning of the ‘Merican year and I don’t mean in the Times Square kind of way).
I have had the blog going for a year now, and despite having been neglectful of my writing at times and though I only sort of slowly ‘came out’ about blog about a month ago, both in my work ads and on The Whorecast, the response has been pretty freaking amazing. So thank you all. I can’t even imagine how rad things would be if I had actually tried to promote the damn thing, so this year I am going to be my darndest to actually keep up with this, as well as my tumblr which is silly and mostly just my personal stories as opposed to a chronicle of the adventures had as a result of my numerous ravenous appetites. I am resolving to update both at least once a week. I have been so lucky to gain a lot of amazing opportunities this year as a result of this, as well as meet some incredible clients who have admitted HHH is what hooked them, so it is YOU, dear reader, that is my special motivation… the thought of what will continue to transpire as I put more love, time and effort in.
As I reflect, I realize how lucky I am to be here at this time and in this place where so many important converging factors are opening up endless possibilities for me, as a sex worker, a writer, and artist, a queer and a woman. There is often a palpable feeling that you can be a sex worker or you can be a ________, but not both for some stupid reason or another. This is especially true if your other chosen career involves being a public figure, especially in politics, or even worse, working with children, such as in the cases of Melissa Petro, who wasn’t even a current sex worker when she was fired from her job as a teacher in the NYC public school system or Shannon W., one of the smartest, most caring women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing who had been a teacher in a liberal town in CA when her beloved teaching career was ended when she was outed as being a sex worker. This year there have been some joyous civil rights victories (the over-turning of DoMA and, especially dear to my heart, CA Victims Compensation Fund which provides money to the victims of violent crime for a variety of crucial services revisited and repealed a regulation that prevented sex workers from receiving help if raped or otherwise assaulted, especially if it happened during work because of their involvement in illegal activity). The slowly changing tides of public opinion and the growing momentum of the sex workers rights movement as well as the incredible advances in technology, among other factors, have really made it possible (or at least significantly easier) to carve our own niches. We all know sex work is indeed something that there is stigma about, though I have been largely lucky enough to avoid it, both because I am a white-presenting, feminine looking, cis-woman with a college education from a middle class background and because I think it is harder to turn your nose up or look on down at someone who you can tell not only has zero shame but is proud of what you are so vehemently against. In my pride I have realized I am unwilling to abide by the societal standard that I can’t fulfill all my dreams, no matter how unlikely my different passions and pursuits are as bedfellows, something that I have gleefully seen other sex workers doing recently as well.
With the way we are able to connect online, I no longer need a newspaper or other publisher to decide my opinion is worthy of being made available to you. When I was a kid, I had three possible professions lined up for myself: I wanted to be a marine biologist, a stripper or a food critic. I had always been a ravenous eater. I was the kind of kid who, at five years old, would refuse to consume anything but ika sashimi for three months or who, while in Japan a year later with my mother,would only consume prawns if they were alive and riggling so I could rip off their heads and slurp up their innards as their limbs slowly ceased to pulse with life. Like a little blond golem I would pitch a fit til I got my preferred sustenance and then spend the rest of the meal alternating between playing with my food, savoring it and suspiciously eyeing my parental units, sure that at any moment my precious would be confiscated. As I got older my passion for food only grew, as did my understanding of the fact that I knew I wanted to be sexy. I worked in kitchens but found that my love for cooking only extended to being a home chef, while my love for eating far exceeded anything I had the ability to whip up. After being an adorable golden haired toddler, I settled into a fifteen year super awkward and unattractive period of ugly-duckling-hood (something I am now quite grateful for as it allowed me to become a smart and interesting person, capable of relying on my inner attributes as well as ensured I turned out a very nice girl having long been at the mercy of many a popular ‘mean girl’) before emerging as a confident, good lookin’ woman and I felt like my attractiveness and charm was a recently discovered super power that I had to make sure was used for good and not evil. So at seventeen I began what Siouxsie charmingly calls my Sex Worker Whorientation, the details of which are a story for another time. As I came into my own, the dead hooker plot lines and dumb stripper jokes started to irk me more and more and as I eventually blossomed into adulthood and became a proud-er, out-er working girl, I started to think more critically about the expectation that sex workers are one dimensional characters with only a few potential story arcs as showcased on TV programs like Law And Order: SVU and CSI. Usually they are dead, but if not they are either evil gold diggers, desperate drug addicts or abused, manipulated and pimped out girls. I have never seen an accurate main stream media portrayal of the kind of women I have come to know as making up my community: all varying and different in so many ways, but most share being smart, funny, interesting, savvy, creative, independent, quirky women with many different projects, dreams, responsibilities and more. With each brilliant woman I came to know, the supposed inability to pursue both my sex work and other dreams at the same time just started to seem more and more ridiculous. With that thought slowly simmering on a back burner in my brain, I started out with the blog slowly and gingerly. After sort of pussy footing around it for a year, the quickness with which things started to boil in the best way possible took me by pleasant surprise and I am so excited for what is to come.
The past eighteen months have been full of so many incredible experiences that I want to take a minute to recount my blessings and say thank you to those who contributed, whether it be friends, co-workers, chefs, clients or others. Pardon my cheesy metaphor usage, but I am do delighted that this garden has grown and thrived the way it has, both the parts that have been carefully cultivated and the beautiful weeds that took me by surprise… even the thorns have served their purposes and taught me important lessons. I think the incredible HOmmunity I have met in the past while have had the strongest impact on me, and I will post a separate blog entry extolling the virtues of and introducing you to some very special gals, such as Siouxsie Q, Olivia La Roux, Tabitha Cooks, Fiona Kelly, Jolene Parton and more. Aside from the incredible sex worker community I have become part of, I have been quoted in Forbes (http://www.forbes.com/sites/susannahbreslin/2013/12/20/what-porn-stars-do/), been interviewed by Siouxsie Q on the Whorecast and had our chat be an entire episode plus spill over into a Siouxsie’s Shorts where I shared a recipe with y’all (http://www.thewhorecast.com/episode-030-the-hungry-hungry-hooker/) , been a guest host on a separate Whorecast episode, eaten my way through many restaurants that had been on my list for years, gotten to travel for work, really figured out and establish my brand, came out to my family, met so many incredible new clients and continued spending time with those of you I was already seeing, started this little blog right here, hired an assistant (who kicks ass and takes names for me five days a week), witnessed the start of Slixa (an AMAZING advertising platform for sex workers that blows all the competition out of the water and who I insist you check out… more on them next post), started drawings for a top secret comic project, took a business class, shot site content with incredible photographer Sequoia Emmanuelle, dated and fall in love with some incredible people, found two of my s-HO-ul mates/significant hookers (or HO-thers if you prefer), which feels like magic and is even more intoxicating than falling in love. These relationships are many things, the aspects of which create a venn diagram transcending each part on their own to be a mixture of best friend, lover, partner, confident, reality check, sounding board, sister and so many other things. These are only a few of the things that have happened in my recent past. So thank you to everyone of you who played a part in my life. I just know that 2014 is going to bring so much more to the table and I am hungry for it.
In the immediate sense I am going to try to do an all night marathon into the wee hours of tomorrow morning and update to include most meals of importance that I have eaten and documented since November. So if I succeed, you will be seeing a few silly reviews for Eleven Madison Park (NY), Hapa Ramen Pop Up at Wing Wings (SF), The Aviary (CHI), Alinea (CHI), The Office (CHI), El Ideas (CHI), Bouchon (Younteville), Saison (SF, regular and special New Years Menu), Nopa (SF), Rose’s Luxury (DC) and a few more in the next week.
As far as other changes? Aside from updating more and getting more serious about producing content, I think I am going to start adding recipes to the blog and start doing interviews with other food savvy clients and ho-workers. I was invited to start writing a HHH column for a rad fashion magazine. I will be launching my work website soon. I will be traveling internationally quite a bit (p.s. I have changed my rates a bit so that my overnight rate includes domestic airfare and my 24 hour rate will include airfare to Europe, so if you wanted to fly me out but were concerned about possible hidden fees, fear no longer!) and even more domestically. I will be trying to take over the world with my crew of smart, sweet, savvy, silly, sophisticated sex workers. It is going to be our year….